Police were called to the Kassam Stadium this morning after receiving reports that a Swindon Town supporter had climbed on to the roof of the East Stand and was threatening to jump off.
After being talked down by specialist officers, the fan was asked by South Today why he had taken such extreme measures. "Swindon Town is my life" he said "but this whole situation with Power and Morfuni is getting me down. They've strung it out so long it's become really depressing and what with the players not getting paid and leaving, I'm beginning to think there won't be a club to support. I'm really at my wits end"
"Yes, that's unfortunate" says Geraldine "but why have you come to Oxford, to the ground of you bitterest rivals, to do such a thing?"
The scummer rolls his eyes and says "Have you seen the queue for the roof at the County Ground".....