The country isn't full. We just need 20 more garden cities, and housing estates of thousands of homes to be built over thousands of square miles of land. Forget about the environmental impact. Forget about food security. Forget about the rural communities we have left.
But don't worry, they'll live up in Luton or Bradford or Oldham. I plan to move there myself soon, beautiful places to live. Meanwhile I'll just continue to live in my white enclave somewhere leafy away from them, or at a push I'll live in a metropolitan city where I just interact with the "good ones".
We just need to spend more than the £200bn we already spend annually on healthcare services. More roads, more cars, more schools, hospitals, more waste management facilities. it's easy, trust me. Look at how well we manage infrastructure projects like HS2 and Crossrail in this country. It's a breeze.
We have 1.3m jobs. Forget that most of the people arriving on boats have limited or no English language abilities, or relevant qualifications. Just get them in and ask questions later. How many are highly qualified or skilled? All of them. Source? Just trust me.
And what of their religion? Does it matter that UK muslims already have significant problems with attitudes towards homosexuality and women? And that the arrivals are overwhelmingly male? No. I'm sure this doesn't pose a threat to our open and tolerant culture. Just let them in. We can deal with that later.