This is an outrage! Abhorrent slur on our good characters. Mrs L is mortified. The very thought of disposing of a perfectly good biscuit in such fashion is unimaginable. Anyway, it is well known that biscuits are no longer proffered to the good folk of the SSU.
And, I'll have you know Mr Merrit, Hobnobs are for dunking, and very good they are too.
Digestives have two purposes. 1st as a very acceptable cheese accompaniment and 2nd as a vehicle for a chocolate coating.
As for Malc's claim to have caught and "rammed" down his throat, without some form of liquid this is clearly impossible. Far too dry.
I believe that folklore has it that, once upon a time, custard cremes were used in a most dastardly manner to inflict injury upon some roaming Millwall fans who were getting a little boisterous.
So, in short, not us guv!