The football side of last night was obviously cripplingly disappointing. We ceded the ball for 80 minutes to disastrous effect, made the wrong substitutions and had the wrong penalty takers. A grim watch and a missed opportunity.
But the overwhelming bitterness for me today is the shame that the off-field antics have brought on the country this tournament. I'm sure it's been mentioned up the thread somewhere, but seeing the videos yesterday and this morning of what was going on in London and in Wembley, and the horrific racist abuse that was predictably levelled at the penalty takers as soon as that last penalty was saved, has been mortifying. They would be bad enough in themselves - but for me they colour all the other reports of England fans' at-best questionable behaviour this tournament.
In isolation they can be explained away as being the actions of a small minority, not representative of the entire fan base. Booing the knee? It's only a vocal minority, whose boos were drowned out by the majority. Booing the opponent's national anthem? Just a bit of footballing pantomime (even though this is obviously coloured by the xenophobic atmosphere gripping the country at the moment). Laser in the eyes, a Danish family attacked on their way home? Just a couple of individual idiots, they don't represent the fanbase as a whole.
But the scenes yesterday, the carnage in central London, the hordes of people storming into Wembley, the violence everywhere on a day that was supposed to be a celebration of English football's greatest achievement in 55 years means that, for me, it can't be brushed under the carpet as some extreme minority. For all the talk of how this wonderful team has 'brought the country together' over the past month and 'given us all something to cheer about', it's clear that a massive proportion of the country are simply complete C***s. The tournament, and the success that it has brought, hasn't 'brought out the best' in the country - it's brought out the obnoxious, violent, racist worst.
I'm not sure whether this is just me still feeling gutted the morning after. But it really feels like my overriding memory of this tournament will be, not pride and excitement in an England team reaching a major final, and memories of the wonderful moments, shared with some of my favourite people in the world, that brought us there, but shame that this is the country that represents me. And it is very difficult this morning to reconcile my enthusiasm for English football with what it obviously represents.